Conscious Endings: Reflections on 2023

Written by Samantha Davis

As the year draws to a close, I find myself in a reflective state about the dynamic experiences of the past year – both personally and professionally, which are for me, always inextricably linked. I recently spent a day in nature to contemplate 2023 and celebrate turning the big 50 (see photo above).

December is usually buzzing with energy and many people are already feeling burnt out and fatigued. We spend a lot of our year waiting and planning for the end of the year with an expectation of actually slowing down and having fun. We get caught up in deadlines, scurrying to complete what still needs doing…

The American Psychological Association says the holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year. The expectation of making it ‘special’, the unaddressed issues and pressure cooker of family, holiday, food, presents...

Endings

For many people, endings can bring up a combination of feelings, associations and expectations. There may be apprehension or excitement, relief or overwhelm or even dread around end-of-year. Endings often create anxiety as they encompass change.

For some, the holiday period can signify a painful void. A void of a family unit. A void of a functional family system. A void of a relationship that you had hoped for. While the holidays are supposed to be a time to rest and reflect on the year, it may be incredibly lonely for some people. Please check in on friends and be sensitive to other people’s experiences whilst you celebrate your own.

December (in South Africa) is a month of endings in both our personal and professional capacities. Be it the end of a year at work, children at school or university… the last of cultural or recreational groups etc. We often automatically pass through these endings without pausing to reflect as December is just a part of the on-going solar calendar that we follow.

Conscious endings in Art Therapy

In Art Therapy, we aim to work as much as possible with a ‘conscious’ ending. On a practical or physical level this implies knowing the date of the last session/group. On an emotional or more internal level this means having opportunity, time and space to be able to reflect on and explore what endings mean for each different client in their lives. This allows a client to pace themselves in the sessions leading up to the ending and integrate the work that has already been done.

The opposite of a conscious ending would be not knowing, not acknowledging and not working with an impending ending – such as a sudden ending where there is no opportunity to say goodbye or have any form of reflection or closure. Endings that are avoided or denied, or not thought through, not discussed or reflected upon are not conscious and can be loaded with unfinished business.

Why are endings (in therapy) important?

In many clients’ previous experiences there may not have been an opportunity to say goodbye to a person or relationship through circumstances often beyond one’s control such as loss, abandonment, premature endings or even death. It can be difficult to have closure when there is no ending. Addressing endings can be an uncomfortable process in that it can bring back painful, difficult or unresolved memories of previous 'endings' in one’s life.

Ending therapy can be challenging in that strong feelings of loss, separation or abandonment may be re-experienced or felt for the first time. Either way, the therapeutic relationship needs to be a reparative experience that is different to past experiences and relationships, whereby termination is a ‘conscious’ process. This is especially helpful for a child who does not yet have a sense of time as adults do, or clients who have struggled with unprocessed loss.

Endings in Art Therapy can be really empowering and an important marker of change in terms of reflecting on and acknowledging what a client has achieved. This is all essential for personal growth, development and transformation.

Let’s take a moment to pause and reflect over the past year

Take out some paper and crayons/pencils/markers and try this…

Jot down words or symbols randomly which represent anything and everything that you associate with 2023…

Reflecting on the past can help you to acknowledge what you have been though and achieved and see it from a distance. This helps to gain perspective, access gratitude and feel more in control.

Take a new sheet of paper jot down words and/or symbols to represent your 2024.

Thinking ahead into the future is an opportunity to bring intention to what you want going forward.

You may even wish to choose the word(s) or symbol that stands out the most for you and that can be your word for each year… Take this a step further – write out your word or symbol really BIG on a new sheet of paper and decorate it – own it – make it come alive!

In closure…

Change and endings encompass change may feel scary and uncertain, but they can also be wonderful opportunities of transition to the hope and potential of what lies ahead - a new beginning.

Wishing you a conscious ending of 2023 - take time to pause and notice those little joy-filled moments this holiday season, and breathe them into your system.

Thank you all for your loyal support, feedback and interest in Art Therapy.

I am looking forward to some down time this holiday spending time locally in nature, enjoying walks, cold water swims in in the sea, sun, healthy plant-based food and fun adventures with myself, friends, family and of course my beloved animals.

With love,
Sam

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Conscious Endings: Reflections on 2023

Endings

Conscious endings in Art Therapy

Why are endings (in therapy) important?

Let’s take a moment to pause and reflect over the past year

In closure…

Curious about Art Therapy?

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